Like many adults who have Russell-Silver Syndrome (RSS) or other syndromes that cause small statures, my childhood and teen years brought constant feelings of insecurity and daily reminders of how I was “different.” Every night from the time I first learned to pray until early adulthood, I begged God to make me grow. Well, today I am actually thankful that He didn’t help me grow in height. Instead, He helped me grow in confidence, which is what I needed even more. I now wear my small stature like a badge of honor!

There were many little victories along the way, but if I had to pinpoint the moment when it no longer mattered to me what people thought of my height, it was when I met my future husband. We met at work. He was tall, dark, and handsome -- 6’4”, dark hair, and very cute!

I should mention I am 4’8,’’ so we definitely turned heads when others would see us together! People noticed our height differences for sure, but they also noticed that we were bringing out the best in each other and becoming confident in the people we had become. My future husband and I were instantly attracted to one another. We had so much in common, and yet it was our differences that made us even stronger together. We complemented each other. The things that made us different made us a perfect match! It was a “light-bulb” moment for me. The things that made me different from others were the very things that made me special – not just in my husband’s eyes but also in the eyes of my friends, family, and even strangers. Fast forward to today. We have 3 children, a happy home, and 2 golden-doodle pups. We own and operate a business together renovating historic properties.

For a very long time in my life, I fought against letting my height define me. And yet it did. I allowed my height to dictate what sports I could join, what friends I could have, what jobs to apply for, and even how to interact with people. Like many with RSS, I took the comments to heart. I was called midget, shorty, and smalls. People would say “What disease do you have? What’s wrong with you?” When I worked as a cashier as a young adult, one lady moved all her items to another checkout counter because she refused to believe I was old enough to work there.

In those moments, I let others—even strangers—make me feel like I was not good enough, like there was something wrong with me. Now, as an adult with children of my own (ages 13, 12, and 8), I see things so differently.

I don’t seem to hear the unkind comments as often. Perhaps I project more confidence these days, and people don’t see me as such an easy target. Or maybe I’ve developed a subconscious ability to ignore the comments. Even so, I still hear them sometimes. But when I do, I know that the negative comments don’t define me. They define the people saying them. Having been on the receiving end of a negative comment all too often in my life, I don’t lash back. I feel compassion and love for the person and take it as an opportunity to lead by example. When someone says to me “your little,” I respond by saying, “thanks for noticing. I really like your hair.”

I’ve learned that people don’t always know how to communicate effectively, and it can come out wrong. Yes, some people do intend to be mean, but most negative comments come from a lack of understanding on their part.

I am no longer afraid to talk to people about my height because I have finally realized that there is absolutely nothing wrong with me! If you are reading this and are also small in stature, please know that there is nothing wrong with you either! Let’s embrace our shortness and any other qualities that make us different from others. Being shorter, taller, bigger, or smaller should not define our entire being—but these qualities are a part of who we are and that is okay.

If I could give my younger self some advice, it would be to recognize that we all just want to be loved and heard. I would also tell my younger self that my height can literally be my own personal superpower if I learn how to use it the right way!

I hope that my personal experiences will inspire you to let nothing hold you back. I also hope it will help parents who have children with RSS or other conditions that make them appear “different” from others. Getting such news about your child can be scary, but take it from an adult with RSS, it doesn’t have to be. Life can be challenging, but there is hope. Insecurities can be overcome. Confidence can be gained. RSS has not prevented me from doing anything I wanted to do. In fact, it has made me even more motivated and determined. Just tell me something I can’t do because of RSS, and you will drive me to work even harder to accomplish it!

The MAGIC foundation understands this, and they’ve been an incredible resource for me and have provided answers to questions I didn’t even know that I had!

According to scripture, “All things are possible with God,” and I’ve found that to be true. When you believe you are capable, you are right! And when you believe you are not capable, you’re right then too! Don’t let anything hold you back from your dreams. Don’t let anyone tell you what you can’t do. And most importantly, don’t let any one thing define who you are as a person.